彩虹

雨后会有彩虹，悲伤后也还是会有奇迹...

老天爷爷，它老是看见我...

在我最低落，最没头绪的时候悄悄地来鼓励我...

好贴心的老天爷爷... 感动呢...^^

那天星期六，我的他比赛赢了，就差那么三分！

我一直坐着祈祷，深怕错过一秒就会输了...

他们说得没错，比赛是不在乎输赢的，而是在乎经验...

可是怎么说眼见他们被追上，又去追回来，而且只是靠那六个正选，真是辛苦了~

多么刺激的一场球赛，看得我目瞪口呆..
我的他，不是一个很会打球的家伙，说起球经倒是头头是道...

他出场的十三秒犯了个规，三粒罚球，看在眼里痛在心里...

其实这球不值得犯，也不知道裁判是不是看错... 我真的没发现那是犯规，我的他有时候也是很手痒的... 所以就算犯规也不出奇... 反正，那球让他们有机会扳回一城...

之后最紧张的最后两节就没有再出场了... 因为是紧要关头，所以出场的必定要是最强的阵容...

很可惜，BENN在第三节的最后几分钟前五犯出场，不然胜算肯定在握....

还好，老将还有五名... 说起来，那么多队，还是我们这队帅哥多...

个个的样子都蛮不错的咯... 哈哈哈哈...

喂？言归正传....

这场比赛精彩度还蛮高的咧... 我一直在呼喊着... 呐喊着！ 哈哈哈...

我真的爱死球赛的每一分每一秒了...

球员的呐喊声，脚步声，篮球在地上的拍打声，在旁观众的呼喊声，还有球鞋的摩擦声永远都是我最喜欢的乐曲！^^

再说，他们总算赢了这场比赛...再说一次，辛苦了大家...

星期日，他们心血来潮说要去看他们下个对手的比赛...

SYNB vs STORM...

SYNB 是他们的朋友，可是就是一班一眼望去就是堆轻敌的家伙...

打比赛以前，好像已经预料到他们一定赢似的，看了真的会不禁摇头...

STORM，就是他们即将会面临的“灾难”。一群稳打稳守的老将，看起来啤酒肚，大肚腩，在他们精彩的比赛里，根本不算什么，碍不了多少，气也可以跟这一群年轻人媲美...怎么说，就是队经验丰富，实力非凡的老将...

以实力来推断，两边都有实力的老将，但是如果阿benn又五犯离场，sotong不够力气，carl不够默契，可能会很难赢了...

最惨的是，我没能看他们搏斗这场你死我活的战争....

那就只有从现在开始祈祷他们每一位都可以以最佳的状态，以最快的时间进入状况，胜数仍然在握！加油了！^^

最近感觉有些疲惫，可能每晚都太夜睡....

我的他，有吹热风了... 很好.... 让我不得不说好爱他！哈哈哈...

累了，也该休息了.... ><"

回到原点

终于还是过去了...

什么都没有改变，他们之间的问题，感情就像是梦一般...

随风而来，随水流去...

而我呢，费尽唇舌还是得到挽留不了的结局...
正如她说的一样，晚上他自动献身在她家门口，解释着他害她哭泣的故事...

连我都好心痛，女孩好难过，难过到连“隔壁邻居”的我都心痛了...

希望她真的像我想象的坚强，想象的开朗，想象的好....

他试着挽留一切... 但是女孩说了对不起，或许是错的时机...

这两个明明很对的人，在个人认为不对的时机下一起...

眼见他们那样... 心痛之余还有些自责...

无所谓，现在至少放下了心中大石... 他决定彻底改变，改革他的一切... 过他全新的生活...

我想那个慵懒，吊儿郎当，平凡的他都会改变...

很想好好恭喜他.. hahaha...

他答应到，从今起：不抽烟，要笑，经常整理他的毛（卫生），重画我的画像，不可以做僵尸不睡觉，不要睡过头，不喝酒.... 大概是这样，我自己都忘了...我想他答应到，应该都会做到...

做完这些条件的回报说是要请他吃饭的，他说要换，所以rewards还保留让他做选择... *他说会在对的时机告诉我他要我什么.... 好像会叫我做坏事一样... @@

今晚就是比赛了，希望我的他能好好加油...

一定要记得买多多100plus让他好好补充体力，刚生完病的他真令人担心...

你啊你，什么时候才能改变下？哈哈哈...

至少别那么特别，生病了还硬硬说很爽！

加油！baby！

事实

现在是凌晨三点钟... 我亲爱的蓝色星期四....

这个年尾你怎么变得那么地黑暗...

我早该知道的事实，为什么现在我才懂...

从今以后，我将会成为那个她...

那个在我心里从此站不上地位的她...

对我而言，她是个感情世界里的白痴,遇到谁人她都不懂的拒绝...

现在我或许了解了她的心情...

她对每一个都没办法拒绝，因为“感觉”好像存在... 似有似无...让她没有办法违背自己的意念...

等到一切都在错的时候发生... 葡萄还是酸的，橘子怎么也没办法甜...

哎... 这个时候很想深深的叹口气...哎..................

凌晨才睡的我，昨晚才愕然发现如今已是18日....

12月18日，我最爱的数目... 1218 1218...

N年前，那已是我自认的幸运号码...但是我从来没有真正看过我往年的12月18日是怎么过的...

今年..当我知道那是他悲伤的开始...我不知道该怎么形容我的心情...

开心，兴奋，还是跟着伤悲...

算了，言归正传....

她找不到他... 来找我...

我想她是因为太想他，所以才会跑来找我... 我一直以为她是个很单纯的女孩... 跟往日的我一样，无知地等待着...

我万万没想到，她问起了我：如果有一天，你没有男朋友，而他又“走向你”，你会接受他吗？

我想了一下，事情不对... 她如果不是发现些什么,都不会想说用“这么诚恳”的方式来问我....

我一时说不上话，反问她，为什么这么问，他只是可能很忙，所以才....

话还没说完，她接着说：请诚实回答我...

心都软了，因为我曾经被伤害过，我很不忍心看她那么难过起来...

可是我还是诚实回答她：可能会...只是可能...*他还是有我忍受不了的缺点...

接着她接下的话更震撼人心... *害我不能睡下去的那么几句...

她说：很不好意思地说句，我看过你跟他聊天的msn，还有电话里的信息...

我也觉得你对他有感觉...你可以用一两通电话，一封信息就把他从睡梦中叫醒...

我也曾经做过相同的事在同一段时间，但是他还是不醒，还是睡了回去...

还有，我在他的抽屉里找到两张画像，一个是他一直暗恋着的ANNIE，另一个就是你...

我茫然... 他从来没有骗过我... 在我印象中...他说过没时间，懒得画，那就是没有画...

为什么抽屉里会有我？

我还反问她，你确定是我吗？他是有欠我这东西，但是他从来没有说过或给我看过成果...

我一直在她的描述里解释...

*常常说秋芳爱解释，现在终于轮到我要多多解释了...

可是她像是什么都明白一样....解释的她都懂了...

他无论是不是喜欢我，我都不能心动！

我不能像打保龄球一样，一滚，全垒打，全部都因为我难过...

好难过，没办法好好睡觉...

还是担心他.. 给他打了两通电话没人接，加上两封信息...

要他知道有人很想念他，她很难过，她很心痛，她很想得到回应....

至少还有很多人担心他....

真的很想再问问他，还好吗？至少别让大家像个傻瓜一样不断的做没有回应的担忧...

1218只有我懂...闷着，心也痛...

担心他，也担心我的他...

我相信你们，懂得照顾自己，我很担心你们，但也很不想你们不会想...

MJ, 是时候放下了！别执著，他也不想看你为他那么难过...

你的世界该改革了！你要珍惜爱你的人呀！

那个新洲的，你也一样，老是听到你说话就感觉你的疲惫...你到底又怎么了？！

担心你们！

至于我的他，他很独立！我相信你。你可以很快康复的！虽然你也很累...

亲爱的....

大家要加油！！

走火入魔

还记得上星期跟他一块欣赏的“风云2”...

有一段多么刻骨铭心的片断... 风为了梦宁可走火入魔... 也不让他人伤害她...

爱得魔力可以很大，可以很勇敢，也可以很胆怯...

当走火入魔后醒来，就会像梦一般，只会记得碰过些什么，但什么感觉却又说不上来...

我看自己就快走火入魔了！

为了他们... 为了我想创造的故事...

我快连自己都认不清了...

你们知道吗？*或许没有人在看

原来一个小说家，写不出故事是多么难过多么难堪的...

难过因为连自己的惟一都没办法做到...

难堪是因为没办法让他人看见自己的惟一...

无论是谁，都会有一股XX想让人看见自己最棒的东西...

希望被人欣赏，希望被人敬佩...

当你连自己最棒的惟一也说不上来，那么就会成为人生的悲哀.... <悲观的人类>

但是！

把心胸打开，你会看见更广阔的天空！

当你从失败中学习，那是一种“经验”...

当你从挫责中站起来，那是一种“勇气”...

再从你跌倒时自己爬起来，那就是一个“实现梦的开始”...

天空很大很大，放眼望去，你永远都没办法摸清它的神秘面纱...

但是从失败中走过，天空会因你而越变越美丽...

一个认清事实而又懂得不断学习的人，将会是个走进未来成功之路的大人物...

没有说自己一定要那么地成功...

可是至少要乐观，建造出心灵上最美妙的乐章...

回到现实....

今天应该比昨天更开心，更兴奋一些.... 因为这是我最爱的星期四...

蓝色星期四，应该是很美好的一天...

但是看起来是我期望太高了.... 失望也就更多...

想要的很多，失去的也就相对地更多...

不知道为了什么，很想像她一样享有那无比的疼爱...

但是我也该知道，吃不到的葡萄还是酸的...

自私不是理所当然的... 这个世界是我选择的，我就要负责任...

真的是时候面对现实....

Missie，深深吸一口气.... 忍一忍，什么都会过去的...

相信自己，不会那么容易被动摇的！

T.T 还是... 很难过...

恰似你的温柔...

好久没好好用我往年最擅长的语言写出自己的心情...

很遗憾.... 最近的生活越过越平淡，连最基本的小文章，我都会词穷...

可能当年的变化，带给了我身，心，灵上造成很大的转变...

那个善良，可爱，和蔼，单纯，善解人意的我已经不再存在...

或许还会有一丝丝的温柔，但那可能只是.......*词穷1

真的太久没有用华语了... 好了，白痴...

来点正经的！

最近什么都喜欢想...

好像害怕老人痴呆，恰似害怕脑袋不再正常运作...

自我有了爱情这玩意儿，还有上课的压力，好久没有真真切切想过一件事...

想过未来，但又到达不了；想过从前，但又回去不了...

说起从前...

小学时，多么难要让人对我温柔，对我微笑...

大家看见我就是掩饰不了的哈哈大笑....*真的太可爱了！

接着就是一些耻辱的话...

听进耳里，刺痛着我的耳膜，更刺进了我那颗单纯的心...

还好，我当时的DNA遗传的较多是我妈妈的温柔...

我仍然傻乎乎地跟着大笑，连自己都不明自己在笑什么... 可爱吧？

无所谓，以前的宗旨就是要当个好人，满足大家...

但是呀，我依然还是我... 爱面子，不懂装懂,心机重得可以...

哈哈哈，想起来，都好可笑...

好在，现在，因为当年搬家，来到个新的环境，看到新的事物,遇到不一样的人....才愕然发现我该变了！

不需要变得太尖酸刻薄，只需要适时做适当的事...

只要开启脑袋，无时无刻想什么时候该做些什么事...

这样至少可以在人家眼里是个懂得分轻重的人... 尤其是女人！

自我懂事以来，女人是一种可以很“幼稚”，也可以很“优雅”的生物...

幼稚的女人让人烦恼，让人忧愁...

优雅的女人让人又爱又恨，让人害怕，让人敬佩...

可想而知，我想往优雅！

我恨幼稚，因为他曾经教会我， 让我体会到女人不一定要被挷在掌心，但是需要独立自主...

这就是为何，我没办法放下那么一个唯一他...

还有，那个小时候，在我最被耻辱时，不时给我安慰的他...

到现在那些安慰，对我而言还是那么地温柔...

恰似你的温柔...

恰似你们的温柔~

谢谢你们...

爱我的人和我爱的人...

LAN感性将！pui! hahahaha!

Memory...

Recently found back lots of memory...

Since the day outing with secondary best intimates to the the met up Primary best intimates...

They look different day to day...

They seems closer to me day to day..

MY SECONDARY INTIMATES...

they are definitely good enough in my mind...

Although sometimes childish, sometimes matured, sometimes what also don't know, sometimes what also know... *very dai sei sometimes.. XD

But they do have a same attitude towards each others...

We do treat each others merely simple heart to heart...

Yinki, a independent, responsible, kind and friendly girl that i ever seen...

Any occasion, she would be the 1st attracting guys... She prime traits is where her "china eyes".. XD

Chiew Fang, a TB which gentleman enough than any guys around me.. she/he has her own attitude towards what she do, what she think and what she gonna buy... i love her prime traits: what i said, what i will done! Perhaps all JUST IN TIME! She is the one who successful among us in this age *1989* she eldest than us..

Chin, my dearest bro.. he always called me AH JIE AH JIE, although i am younger than him..

His attitude would be merely same as Chiew Fang, but he do little bit more hesitate on what he would like to do and on his job... He is a bakery worker *the worst thing, he don't know make CAKES!* and now we treat each others like our lovers, perhaps that impossible for us..

Karen, a very clever girl which very sensitive on peoples opinion on her... she sometimes look that pretty, sometimes would not be... But the thing on her that i admire is that she is independent enough and able to go anywhere by her ownself without depending others to accompany.. one more thing, she is the one kesian for us.. she's got lots of "fur" hahaha... Chin always laugh her with the name KING KONG! wahaha.. bad Chin..

Angel, a very girly girl.. She loves pink, she need guys, she always make up and the main point, she learning cosmetic... so, WOW for every guys on her... she look that pretty with her "fair skin".. i sware! i hate her when she said she dark and fat! hahaha...

Shir-ley, is a cute girl where also a follower... seems we long time never met up, maybe she has change but i don't know.. As my opinion, she is a well known follower which like to eat, like to talk bout her idol... hahaha... normally we are not that ngam key.. hahaha...cause i don't like her idol.. haha.. sorry babe...

Irene, is a girl which seldom talks but always talk with a very funny tone that i would like to be with... She is a very normal girl... When close with her, we will found her funny attitude; when she far from us, we will felt she is coOl enough! hahaha...

Shairman, a pretty woman which always in silent mode... don't like to be with too many peoples... don't like to stick with peoples... i love her independent too.. XD and she is the most COOL GIRL among all of us which is considered 38! oops...

Jason, a very good boyfriend that i ever seen.. hahaha... he loves his girl, Chai Lee very very much... They give me a feel is that they have their sweet world that i will never felt nice...

And SO ON.. which i never mention... apologized for that...

They definitely be the one in my life that show friends are important...

I do admit, around me, besides them, still got a huge groups of intimates which nice enough for me...

And now, i have a new assumption...

My study, my work, my family, my friends and my lover would be my priority order...

i love them ... Although sometimes study look stress, work look busy, family look more arguments, friends look childish and lover look troubling.. hahaha... i do love them... tolerate all that to get the balancing among all of it!

*********************************************************

Another hand...

Bout my Primary School Classmates...

WOW! is what their reaction on me..

WAH! is the reaction i made for them...

All changed alots...

Indeed i do admit im the one who changed so so much..

From the past that i were a damn ugly fatty!

Now a girl which can be said as pretty although still fat!

I started to be that confident with my features and my attitude changed!

Congratulations to myself!

i had been upgraded to be that "high post" than some of them...

But a weakness that start when i be confident...

"Missie Soh is someone who merely like to talk backwards... She is not the person who have a nobly attitude..."

i felt i will get this kind of opinion very soon...

Because im changed to be more fussy!

I knew that's bad! but i need TIME to recover from that...

Wish to give everything sometimes.. ^^

GOODLUCK FOR ME!

GOODLUCK FOR YOU, BABY!

the Origin...

How hard the feelings are?

How deep the love for?

How can he don't understand?

How can i make mistakes on all thats happening?

i hate myself..

i love u...

i'm so sad at this moment where u never seen me..

sorry baby...

i cry again....

i freaking miss u...

i freaking worry...

i wish the dream may not come truth..

i wish u never leave me...

my heart...

i cant pretend i dint fault...

but i did agreed to my ...........................

i couldnt continue.........

im sorry baby..........

i really love u....

sorry............

howard low...

when can u knew it?!

Pretend!

Hey, Missie...

Change a new fresh name... but don't even think that it was bringing fresh to my life...

Remember the last few blog ago, i said bout her...

She makes me felt weird...

She makes me felt something special...

But it wouldn't be more than him...

I suppose to leave her alone, as far as possible....

Unfortunately, all of that had became a habit...

Guess what, everyday non-stop communicating, who else will not treated it as habit..

However, i do agreed that this action, this consideration are "childish"..

In front some of them, i pretend that i did not same as those "little girl", "womanize" FEMALE...

Because those action they do is something called childish in my eye.

Be honest, i do those actions as them when there are not there...

Be truth, i'm much more childish than someone who childish in my eye..

At least, they "maybe" used their time conversely to mine..

In front of us, they pretend like a strong woman which able to control their man instead of treat them as good as possible.

"maybe" behind that, they do something appreciate their man with a "better way"

oops.... is that meant that i get the wrong way on controlling my man?

haha...

i guess no...

My theory in love: to tolerate but not to control.

to cherish every moment but not to changed him every moment.

Because we are same, we are human, we got brain, we got mind, we got own attitude..

Time might able to instead of those bads..

Time may changed them, but not us..

Find someone that we love is hard, kept someone we love would be harder..

I did appreciate him a lots... Cherish him a lots...

And her....

would be my lovely besties...

i know she would not agreed, but i do....

Pretend like this...

moody...

i'm moody!!!!!!!!!!

i felt wanna cry~!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoelse can borrow me a shoulder???

NO??? fine..............

WHEN i really need you, you not there for me........

tats wat HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

l o n g s to r y

Finally, i finish uploaded all the photos that i willing to share over here..

yea... that few days, erm... or either the few weeks tat i enjoy fully in play..

And everyone knew that blogger have a weak connection on uploading while everyone free times..

Tats why i kept all the photos which either 2 weeks ago til now..

Quite suffer.. haha...

While uploading it, i just can concentrate waiting, but not doing dad's business work...

T.T felt so bad..

And now ... im so lazy to write too long path for the story!!

Let the photo do the talks:

Tis is a watch that bought by Chiew Fang from Singapore...

RM130.. hahaha.. very very cheap for me..

Coz before tis i tot this watch was under limited edition and thats kinda expensive..

hahaha.. finally, i found tis... is cheap!!

And its cheaper to buy from Singapore than M'sia...

Tis is the another view of the watch.. GOLD...

Erm, forget which date, which day...

Me and Xian go sing k together... hahaha..

Yea, oni me and u... ^^

Before tat, v took these photos...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another day... I remember tat is thursday, i was still in the sem break~

Before reach Midvalley, he bought Mcd and v ate on the way~ ^^

Starbucks, Frappucino Java Chips.. ^^

Yes Tis is me!! on the way back!

Haha.. babe was concentrate driving...

I like tis naturally..

Another concentrate...^^

Haha.. Enjoy myself..

hahaha... i love myself.. tats y.. Captured so much ... ^^

The same day, but night! darling was playing psp, but fully concentration...

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Owh... tat day 21/08 Chiew Fang came back and v go KLCC and den go Sunway Medical Centre...

V wear mask fully in the Hospital... ^^

After that, v go Serdang eat seafood...

but on the table oni FISH is seafood.. others all vege ma!!! @@"

Yea, and finally, v go fun fair somemore.. XD

End of the post.. Huh~