Exhausting

Sometimes... it's good to have some bad memories.

They remind us that we don's deserve something better in life. 

They lead us to the right way as we should never get back to the same mistake. 

Everytime, anyone approached, I'm fear, I wish I could just runaway from that situation, and never let it happen. 

Libra, have a very indecisive mind.

Ya, true, I'm always contradicting. 

About good or bad, want or don't want, keep going or let go. 

I can be so sure that I'm a optimism's people, but not when alone. 

It was like, yea, I really did felt that I'm exhausting. 

Exhausting in forgiving so much, forgetting so much. 

Exhausting in constantly sacrificing.

I'm so tired. 

Can anybody please tell me, what is my final prize? 

What can I get from constantly forgetting and constantly sacrificing? 

OK, like I always say "God will never forget the person who willing to wait, who staying until the end".

They wait for a prize, but whose know wait itself is a price. 

Tik tok.... Time is the real horror killer. 

They kills our health, our happiness and our heart. 

Everytime I think about forgiving and go on, I must have once turn around and look at my past. 

That's really a ugly past. 

Like my back. 

Scars on it, they never leave, exactly like the ugly past. 

It's in me, but nobody ever seen. 

The nearest who seen it, has never really put his hand on, and feel it. 

Reminding myself that, "it'll be alright, don't care about it, forget about that".

But can I have someone to tell me, what should you do when your closest one telling you, you are just a rubbish?

Should you really take it, swallow it and forgiving? 

Or should you slap them and kick their ass before they have chance to say sorry? 

I remembered someone told me, "a rubbish used in the right place with someone really appreciating it, it will turns out as a valuable priceless gift".

Why he didn't tell me, what is the consequences that the rubbish been tears everywhere, everyone stepped on it, and that's nothing to be appreciates?

Why a 7 years communication doesn't come to same way of thinking? 

I just couldn't take it. 

This is too hurt for me. 

At least, for me that really feel so tired about all these. 

This is like the end of the story, where I telling the world I'm leaving.

My heart still asking me to stay. 

We can predict what happpening next, but why nobody want to show up for a decision. 

Agree with me, I just getting too tired. 

Read along this, and the story have not end yet.