m y l o v e s t !

try to reminding myself.. i'm gonna write something in my blog ady..

well.. i gonna post up what happening for the last few... or last many days...

seems a week din go my dear house.. well, he really so loves his kicks..

he trying and matching his kicks with his pants..

weird as i think..

a fatty which confidence as him is really .... @@

(i couln't express it by words)

yea, this is took before tat day chiew fang going singapore work..

she looks sad, but everyone looks very boring...

coz the time v are waiting and waiting Jason to fetch..

Well, reach there still dono which cafe to go is the most worst..

finally tis 7star is karen choice...

indeed, she having funs there..

Fang looks "handsome"in this photo, but at the moment... i think she suffering on gastric...

Karen... she angry because Fang playing fool with her..

hahaha.. den she is the one who help us take photo.. @@

Yea.. tis is Saturday... i play ball before tis...

this basketball court is Taman Connaught Highschool..

Really a nice environment there..

my funny darling!!

wan me to capture his back side..

but since his fren which playing the games had running up here..

he felt shy...

den turn it back to me immediately..

really funny moment...

he really alwiz so confidence with his body shape...

especially the BACK SIDE!!

hahaha.. naughty darling...

acting like HANAMICHI SAKURAGI!!

wahahahaha... wahahahaha...

this is wat i capture without his permission!!

nice photo! excellent!!

he try to rampas my psp..

i run out from his arm, den oni i could able to play with psp smoothly..

hahaha..

den he took my phone, captured how ugly im..

T.T

bad dear~

I F E E L G O O D ! ! !

i tot he concentrate driving, but his face like tat on my camera.. XD

i love this with my "monalisa" smile... XD

Dear was cute.. XD

another look... teeth alwiz my bads...

this look nice??

He was concentrate driving.. @@

haha... i love took photo...

NAH! darl finger was match to my face.. XD

2 days never write this blog, i think it felt lonely also... XD
Within these two days, i getting better on my feelings...

The world should be like that...

When the time u was dissapointed and sad past, at the next moment u might get into some happiness...
I still remember saturday that v go mid valley..

On the way, captures some photos.. haha... nice~

Well.. we walk around there with my worst high heeled... painfull~

Actually, v have no authority to do that...

Because we have the problem of lack on money...

Ya... i got no money at all..

We spent all our money... on starbucks, eating fried chicken and cheapest porridge... delicious...

But that day, mid valley was full with crowd of peoples..

All are rich peoples..

Look at them, both of us oni have a felt of loose control.. @@

c o n f i d e n t

Well, i considered today as a lucky day..

early in the morning, i met two friends in the bus and they told me that they saw another "sleeping beauty" was prepared to go some where...

the time was just oni 7.30am.. it's really impossible for a person who normally which slept till noon to woke up at this time..

Finally... i found that, i'm not really lucky today...

As i finsihed class and going to his house in the noon time.. just thought to have lunch together with him...

this is the 2nd time i go his house by taking taxi...

Err... i should able to know that...

when he is working, i'm not suitable to trouble him..

i'm KINDA TROUBLE... (hope that he dun think so)

We go eat "yong tau fu" together and that is introduce by shervine... = ="

Truthly, i'm not happy with it...

But i still bring up some laugh to bring it begins and ends "looks" happy all te time..

Dono why, and what i'm thinking...

Everytime he told me bout tat, i will unable to control myself changed moody immediately..

Finished the lunch, i been back home..

i thought, all of the problems, climax was past...

But saw mum's reaction was just like what opposite to the words "lucky"..

Everytime she look at me when i'm making a joke or smiling or laughing, she will reflect back a "dark face" to me.. sigh...

In that situation, i was in suffered.

i suffer with my family was not gets happy when i was happy..

i suffer with my lovely mum's getting seriously hated me in all the time..

perhaps, she thought that what i'm happy was already not for her..

"i'm just a married woman for her...

i would not be her daughter anymore..."

maybe, this is truth..

or conversely she just dun want me be cheated by anyone..

i understand... but all her reaction make me become no rasionally...

she was dissapointed on me..

and i'm dissapointed on her too...

i'm not pretty as others, and i'm not really getting love from others...

Maybe he had to be included...

Perhaps, i would be happy all the days if i close my eyes and sleep all the time..

yea, i will just be happy when i was alone... is that truth?

Let's wish me good luck all the time, all the way...

I LOST MY CONFIDENT TODAY...

l o n e l y n i g h t

Today getting flu in the class...

Wen and Junie looking serious on me.. haha..

They scare that i need to be seclude as a unknown H1N1 patients..

Indeed, i knew i'm not... but just getting weaker than past...

absolutely, i hate ppl go for club...

But there are still many ppl going there for relaxation..

Although they have no pressure, they still going for their relaxation..

Tonight... his fren birthday would going to celebrate in the CLUB...

i think this could be the point which let me think off many problems...

"did they will happy with the birthday girl in the club?"

"it's that be suitable for a birthday party celebrated in the CLUB?"

"Crowd of ppl there with sweat and sweat, would it be dirty place?"

"Did the girls will just simply come true some guys for [free] 19stand?"

haha...

i'm definitely a ppl who never steps into club...

ok, i'm just saw something from outside... it is included?

but i felt... if today i'm workings and pressure, i would like to go there everynight...

non of relations with those 19stand...

just wear nicely there and have a nice look to everybody there..

hehe... i know all this would just a dream that might oni 6% possible be happened in my real life...

k...

just to seriously said that: I'M LONELY TONIGHT...

p r o b l e m s

Today... Early morning go for class den back at the noon 12pm...

indeed, today's mood might stil the same...

same pressure i had... same thought i have..

Yesterday night i felt i done a right action..

i sms to my mum to apologize to her...

i told her tat:

"i will be protect myself, dun utoo worry bout tat.. where i wanna go, i oredy have my mind to go for it... no fault will be makes u to be responsible.. ...... "

Last sentence in this msg, i said tat, i'm sorry, mum, i love u..

Well, those words is which i cant even open my mouth and told her...

i need some freedom besides from peromission..

i need her words to be respective to him... however, he still his mum son...

Actually, i knew that very clear, HE IS NOT A BAD GUY...

as i noe since i finsihed study, i considered no smokes, no drunk and no notorious gang as a good guy...

Definitely, he no smokes, no drunk much, no gang with the notorious one...

he is a good guy..

the only problem which is available is...... his thought...

he have a very obstinate mind... he think what he thought is RIGHT...

he think what he done is RIGHT...

he think TRADISIONALLY MIND is a FAULT which need to be changed immediately...

yea, he got his persuasion which can influence people successfully...

To this date, the problem had not been solved yet...

it's still in a terrible forms...

i'm not trying to changed what did they think, what did they do....

i'm just try my best to makes them understanding each other and think tolerance between them..

Wish me ALL THE BEST!!!

s a d

So sorry with it... i'm really not thinking well with my EQ to say out those words..

Finally, this is the second time in this week that i really ARGUE with my mum...

Actually, i noe what did she thinking bout...

When i told her, i gonna have a trip with his family..

She immediately reaction is NO!!..

i heard what she told me for her reasons..

those are very very outdated reasons...

"did u oredy married with him? what else did u need to follow him to everywhere?"

"i got money aso din get for play... aso cant have chance to play... if u think u can handle all ur money, go ahead.."

That is what makes my tears continue dropping with those words which for fight...

Actually, i noe what shes mind thinking..

she dun like me to be too close with him...

indeed, tradisionally v are not get married yet...

den, would be his lazy actions makes her very very dissapointed...

well... she is a very tradisionally woman... this is influence by the family around which is really tradisionally outdated mind...

They cant even noe what does a youth gonna try with?

They cant even try to understand with the youth needs?

why?!

why it should be like that?

Finally i found tat...

start from the day they scolding with bad words for "him" as the point...

my pressure coming harder...

HE try to make my mind updated and push me off with scolding back my family...

this is another pressure...

both this pressure makes me suffer about 5 months...

They are crazy with pushing me into the fire range...

i'm getting crazy too...

Continue like this, i cant concentrate my study..

i cant concern on what i should done...

i cant concern in what should i do with...

my mind cant stop thinking with think ways to solved that...

sigh...

please.. dun continues with this...

i just want a normal thinking, i just wan my normal family with him..

why?! why should u all do tat with me?! 

badly pressure, get loss from my body..

fuck off... 

F U C K

p h o t o s - y t d

This is my dinner meal.. haha.. look delicious huh?

Darl so fast eat oni hotdog.. this is his meal...

Our meal... hehe...

Yea, my look.. baby~

"f u ll e x p." d a y

How would us think bout the word "full exp."?

yea, tat is means tat full experiencing...

such a long time never have my life being like this..

nowonder how did i tired, i will just push myself... err.. and also my beloved, wake up..

hehe...

basically, both of us are damn "pig" to be sleep untill 11am..

but today was different..

both of us wake up early for an hour of joggings~ wahaha..

really very very long time never go for a jog after NS...

i love the feel tat the sweat drops all over my body..

Really really surprise with my darl action..

he was veryvery lazy to be wake up..

but i push and push.. PUSH PUSH PUSH..!!

till almost 1 hour, den oni he tried to woke up have a wash...

the time was 8.15am..

i think there is the 1st time he wake up so early just for jogs after his study..

hahaha...

we go to the big garden which i forget what name it is.. (it is around Damai Perdana BRJ)

i jogs and walks, but he walks and walks..

while he runs, i saw a "fatty dumpy" was jumping like... somthing like.. a BALL... wahaha...

Really funny for oni ME..

Well, we had just jogs over there 3 rounds.. den 9.35am we went to have our breakfast..

hehe..

DIM SUM la sure...

he always said tat: "Fei po, i'm so poor la please, dun tried to eat something which is expensive"

haha.. think tat i will laugh a little more.. XD

While we have our nicely DIM SUM, his KENARI KAKI dai lou, Jordan, called him for shops The Curve with the target he wanna buy an AIR JORDAN basketball shoes..

forgotten which stage... but quite nice! got chance i will post it.. to remind myself... hehe...

after that, go for our lunch.. SAKAE SUSHI la deng...

damn many ppl there... walking, eating... all around..

saw my cousin with her stall there in the flea market.. hehe..

after visited my pretty cousin, we just back with the JORDAN with his SUPER AERODOWN MOVE...

his driving technique like a "baby swinger", fast with speedy, but... sit behind really too "swing"..

till i felt i gonna sleep or it can be known as "PENGSAN"..

hahaha...

Reach darl home with very sleepy posing, den both of us have our nice snap.. XD

when we wake up oni realize that, family are not going to come back to have dinner together..

always headache with the same problem..

"wanna eat wat??"

Finally, v decide to buy some FRESH FOODS from Tesco to cook ourself..

all u guess are right: he not believe with my cooking skilled.. sigh.. @@

but... DELICIOUS and very FULL after tat..

^^

After tat, have my goodbye kiss... im back home... ><

Having my pressure and my Relaxation at the same time...

Thx gods and Thx Darl...

Love u so much~ ^^

灰 色 星 期 五 ..

把原本的黑色变淡...

化作灰色的星期五...

好轻松，好自在...

明天是AGONG的生日，差不多３／４的人都必须休假为他庆祝...

我想大概每个人都很轻松的...

想起昨晚就觉得可怕...

家里的“小鼎貹”哭了好一整晚...

大嫂根本没办法好好地睡一觉...

而我一再地被吵醒，却没办法走出房门帮忙哄他...

实在是很累事情...

照顾小孩真的很“难”...

当他在睡梦中惊醒，没有人猜到他到底是怎么了？

更何况，每个人都被他那“扰人清梦”的哭喊声吵醒...

从晚上就一直到早上...

很遗憾，我什么忙也没帮上...

我的潜意识是邪恶的...

它不断灌输我：孩子不是你的，何必那么在乎，睡吧～睡吧～

可笑呀！

潜意识里头的邪恶居然有那么大的影响力...

讨厌...

不过说起来，最近鼻子总会在半夜阻塞了起来...

呼吸困难加上，最近的梦越来越强烈...

每天起床总是累上加累...

到底怎么了？

w e d n e s d a y t i m e l e s s

Finally, reach wednesday ady..

seems like time gonna ran faster than what we predict..

hey hey!!

today miss chance to watch my lovely SLAMDUNK..

coz lots of dad company works haven done..

sigh..

now oni i realize..

there was lots of workers that had overtook their wages..

damn it..

really dono what dad thinking..

izit i m useless for him?

or... im not really can help him without any people telling me what to do?

Wanna try to settle up all the missing amount..

i need to have a try..

this what i found today..

continue with facebook..

haha...

see ya...

黑 色 星 期 一

以前都有听说过"黑色星期五"...

基本上是不知道这"东西"存在的意义...

但是莫名地就会有一股不祥的感觉...

既然写得出"黑色星期五"...

我也要自己创造一个"黑色星期一"...

我想很多工作的都希望没有星期一...

星期一充满烦恼, 充满"意外", 充满"工作"...

因为这一天是每个星期的开始...

所以显得特别难过去... 时间啦~

对于一个读书跟工作都暂时停留的人...

还会说星期一是"黑色"的...

的确有些牵强..

但是..

这个星期的开始,居然是阴阴的...

阴天, 没雨也没有太阳...

不过还是热着的呢...

这就像是意味着这个星期会很难过...

真是的...

可能是太空闲了吧...

老是想些有的没的...

然后,就会有那样的感觉..

悲哀啊!悲哀!

今晚是时候垫高枕头高歌一曲咯~

哎....