c o n f i d e n t

Well, i considered today as a lucky day..

early in the morning, i met two friends in the bus and they told me that they saw another "sleeping beauty" was prepared to go some where...

the time was just oni 7.30am.. it's really impossible for a person who normally which slept till noon to woke up at this time..

Finally... i found that, i'm not really lucky today...

As i finsihed class and going to his house in the noon time.. just thought to have lunch together with him...

this is the 2nd time i go his house by taking taxi...

Err... i should able to know that...

when he is working, i'm not suitable to trouble him..

i'm KINDA TROUBLE... (hope that he dun think so)

We go eat "yong tau fu" together and that is introduce by shervine... = ="

Truthly, i'm not happy with it...

But i still bring up some laugh to bring it begins and ends "looks" happy all te time..

Dono why, and what i'm thinking...

Everytime he told me bout tat, i will unable to control myself changed moody immediately..

Finished the lunch, i been back home..

i thought, all of the problems, climax was past...

But saw mum's reaction was just like what opposite to the words "lucky"..

Everytime she look at me when i'm making a joke or smiling or laughing, she will reflect back a "dark face" to me.. sigh...

In that situation, i was in suffered.

i suffer with my family was not gets happy when i was happy..

i suffer with my lovely mum's getting seriously hated me in all the time..

perhaps, she thought that what i'm happy was already not for her..

"i'm just a married woman for her...

i would not be her daughter anymore..."

maybe, this is truth..

or conversely she just dun want me be cheated by anyone..

i understand... but all her reaction make me become no rasionally...

she was dissapointed on me..

and i'm dissapointed on her too...

i'm not pretty as others, and i'm not really getting love from others...

Maybe he had to be included...

Perhaps, i would be happy all the days if i close my eyes and sleep all the time..

yea, i will just be happy when i was alone... is that truth?

Let's wish me good luck all the time, all the way...

I LOST MY CONFIDENT TODAY...